Daisy Duke: More vegetarian than hunter

Joe Avento • Jun 2, 2019 at 12:00 AM

Everybody knows dogs don’t fly, but that hasn’t stopped Daisy Duke from trying.

Our cheeky bloodhound has recently decided anything flying overhead — birds, insects, airplanes — needs to be caught.

She’s been trying, leaping at a bird flying by, jumping at an airplane thousands of feet overhead. Apparently, bloodhounds don’t have much of a sense of perspective.

Sometimes she looks like a dolphin breaking the surface of the water, but when she comes back to earth, our goofy hound usually doesn’t stick the landing. Graceful is not her middle name.

Of course, despite a vertical leap much higher than anybody else in the family, she’s never caught anything.

In fact, Daisy Duke is kind of an embarrassment to the hound family. A dog that’s supposedly bred for tracking and hunting sometimes doesn’t even realize when a rabbit is in the yard with her. When she finally notices, she’ll give chase. So far, the score is rabbits 150, Daisy Duke 0.

She’s not much a hunter. So far the only casualties have been a mole and a robin she proudly brought to us on two separate occasions, but we’re pretty sure she found them both already dead.

Finally, Daisy Duke made her first catch in the second week of May. During a walk on the leash with a light rain falling, our killer found a moth fluttering toward the grass. She pounced with both front paws. The moth didn’t stand a chance, not against this ferocious beast.

We would like to report that no moths were harmed in the writing of this column, but that wouldn’t be true. Daisy Duke said it was delicious.

May is the month for planting a garden and now that we have a maniac running around the yard, we’re no longer worried about varmints getting in. We’re more worried about the damage Daisy Duke might cause to our tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers.

We could only imagine looking down from the deck and seeing her sitting among the plants and vegetables, chewing away like nothing’s wrong.

Then it really happened.

We had put up a fence around the garden and placed a plastic owl in the middle to scare away the would-be intruders. As it turned out, the owl turned out to be irresistible to our sassy hound and the fence was no match for her.

You can imagine our surprise when we looked out the window and saw Daisy Duke sprinting through the yard with the owl in her mouth.

Back and forth she ran, head arched back, owl in the air. She was one proud hunter and she finally got her kill.

Somehow, she managed to snatch the plastic bird out of the garden without leaving any trace of how she got in.

After a couple of days of scratching our heads, we spotted her going back in. She bent the top of the wire fence in just a bit and managed to jump over. Then a new problem occurred. When she got in, this time she couldn’t figure out how to escape.

In a near panicked state, Daisy Duke crushed a few tomato plants. Since then, she has learned how we get in and out to take care of the plants — in one corner where the fence can be separated — so we have to take extra care when closing that fence.

Now we are installing a new fence around the garden, one that we hope will keep her out. She causes so much extra work, it’s a good thing she’s lovable, goofy and fun. The owl — or what’s left of it — won’t be going back in.

Maybe we can get a few rabbits to stop by and scare Daisy Duke away when she gets too close to the garden. All we’re certain of is a moth won’t do the trick.

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