After all, we had the yard fenced in when Daisy Duke joined the family more than a year ago, so we expected her to frolic and run and do what bloodhounds do on her new grassy playground.
When the number of holes reached enough to have our own golf course, some of us — not all of us — were amused.
She hasn’t stopped. This wasn’t part of the plan.
The fun and games came to an abrupt end when the holes seemed to multiply overnight.
The carnage required immediate attention and I was told in no uncertain terms that I would be the one providing the attention.
Fifteen bags of top soil later, Daisy Duke’s handiwork was mostly covered. I filled in as many holes in one afternoon as Tiger Woods did to win the Masters.
That’s right. While Tiger played 72 holes to cap his incredible comeback at Augusta National, I filled 72 holes — at last count — with the soil.
The holes Tiger was filling with golf balls were 4.25 inches in diameter. Some of Daisy Duke’s holes were massive. They could be measured in feet and they were deep.
Bloodhounds are known for their sense of smell and tracking talents, but we have learned they have another special skill. They can dig.
Sometimes I think Daisy Duke could get a job as a canine shovel. Surely somebody would hire a hound who can move earth like a bulldozer, requires no gas and will work for the pure pleasure of being allowed to dig holes.
Before this 90-pound beast came to live with us, the grass in our backyard was vibrant and green. Even when there were six dogs in our family, nothing like this ever happened. Daisy Duke is a one-dog wrecking crew and now we have a pock-marked landscape behind our house.
To her credit, Daisy Duke has kind of learned not to re-dig the filled holes for the most part. It took a few hours of walking with her in the yard and saying “no!” over and over. She finally got tired of hearing us so she decided to stop.
She’s not perfect — no dig-aholic is — and she has a relapse from time to time. We can tell because when she comes in, her nose is the color of the soil.
We recently noticed that some new holes have appeared. Daisy Duke is back at it, doing what she does best. She is being admonished and I am being handed the shovel.
They will be filled soon.
Before we did the initial yard repairs, cutting the grass had become too much of an adventure. Ankles were in danger of being broken. Expensive lawnmower repairs would most certainly follow.
Imagine trying to cut the grass — if there was grass — on the moon.
Filling the holes has been one small step for man, one giant leap for Daisy Duke.