Skeptical that my old copy would still play, I placed the cardboard record on my old turntable and was amazed to hear the likes of Louis Armstrong and Bing Crosby singing the praises of Remington's Roll-O-Matic razors—with typical 1950s crackles and pops.
One example of a line from the 5-minute-long jingle:
“O that Roll-O-Matic — just about any kind of beard or skin — makes you wish you had double chin.”
“Instructions: Recording is amazingly adaptable. Simply roll to flatten. If it slips, peel paper strips off back and press recording to turntable. To store recording, replace paper strips.
“The Adjustable Remington Roll-A-Matic Shaver Presents ‘Music to Shave by’ featuring Bing Crosby, Louis Armstrong, Rosemary Clooney, The Hi-Lo's, A Product of Columbia Records.
“It's a gift to you from Remington Rand, Makers of the the Adjustable Remington Roll-A Matic Shaver. The one gift for all men.
“Different men have different beards and skin. Because the Roll-A_Matic has adjustable Roller Combs, it gives every man the cleanest, most comfortable shave. Here's how:
“Exclusive Roller Combs adjust. The higher they are, the more they roll (for tender skin). The lower they are, the more they comb (for tough beards).
“In every position, Roller Combs are always rolling and combing. They roll skin down and comb whiskers up, shaving even his “hidden beard.”
“P.S. Gifts for her.? She'll love the Remington Princess – the one shaver for all women, Ends nicks, cuts and scrapes forever!
I can just imagine people running down to King's Department Store at Christmas 1959 to pick up their Remington Roll-O-Matic.
Reach Bob Cox at [email protected] or go to www.bcyesteryear.com.