DEAR BAFFLED: Since you haven’t had any meaningful contact with her since her remarriage, I suspect that her new husband has something to do with the silence. He may be controlling or discourages contact because he is threatened by the idea that she had a full life previously. It may also be that she prefers to devote her time and efforts to him and his relatives rather than dwell in the past. I wish I had more information about her, but even without it, my advice is for you all to move on. It’s impossible to maintain a relationship with someone who doesn’t want one.
DEAR ABBY: I am a very open person, but one thing I am not open about is the STD I have been living with for the last few years. My ex didn’t know he had it, and he gave it to me. Now free of him, I’m ready to date again, but I’m afraid of the judgment I may receive from potential partners. I have heard all kinds of stigmatizing, dehumanizing and cruel comments about STDs, and I wonder to myself if people were better educated about this, maybe they wouldn’t sound so ignorant. Unfortunately, I don’t have the emotional strength to deal with rejection right now. So what I’m trying to ask is, how do I go about dating with an STI/STD? — MOVING FORWARD IN MICHIGAN
DEAR MOVING FORWARD: According to the Centers for Disease Control nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur EVERY YEAR in this country, so please don’t think you are alone. Knowing other individuals are going through what you are may help you to feel less isolated and stigmatized. An excellent resource for you would be the American Sexual Health Association, which provides all sorts of reliable information for people with STIs/STDs. The website is ashastd.org, and it offers an online support community that may be helpful for you. There are also commercial dating sites and apps that cater to people with STIs and STDs. I encourage you to go online and find out which one may be the best fit for you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.