DEAR KEPT: You have the right to be upset — and angry — about the deception. If you want to know if Marla’s husband knows what went on between her and your husband, ask her. Perhaps she can fill you in on what else your husband “forgot” to mention. Bill appears to have a large character flaw, and the two of you appear to have a serious communication problem. Before this damages your marriage further, you and Bill should schedule some sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist. If he stonewalls or refuses to go with you, go without him.
DEAR ABBY: My aunt and uncle from another state still send me a birthday check every year for my birthday, which is generous and thoughtful of them. While the sum is not large, I feel it is not necessary, and it makes me uncomfortable. I’m in my late 20s now and have a good job with a good income. How do I politely tell them that while I appreciate their kindness, it is not necessary to send their adult niece a check every year? I’m not particularly close with them and am afraid of offending. — UNCOMFORTABLE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: From your description of your aunt and uncle, they are thoughtful, caring people, so when you talk to them, express your gratitude for their generosity. Then suggest that because you are now an adult, with a good job and a good income, you think it might be time to consider exchanging only greeting cards on special occasions. Of course, this means you will be sending them cards for their birthdays, anniversary and Christmas, if you don’t already do it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.