DEAR THANK YOU: Because he is refusing monetary compensation, I suggest you write him a letter. In it, express how much you appreciate the hard work he has done and the kindness he has shown to your family. Tell him you know what a good friend he was to your father and how much your dad trusted and respected him. Then say thank you, and if he and his wife live close enough, offer to take them to dinner and thank him again in person.
DEAR ABBY: I had a miscarriage two years ago. My ex wasn’t emotionally supportive during our grieving process (I understand everyone deals with loss differently). However, suffice it to say, our journeys no longer aligned. I started dating again a few months ago and now realize I have built up an emotional wall. Also, I’m never sure when — or if — I should bring up my miscarriage. I’m 28 and have a master’s degree, and I would like to try again with the right man, the right way (after marriage). How do I start? — DO-OVER IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR DO-OVER: I presume, having lost a baby you wanted and having to face the reality that your ex wasn’t the supportive person you thought he was, that you are having trust issues. The time to resolve them is before you start looking for another life partner. Some sessions with a psychologist would help. Once you feel it’s safe to open your heart to someone again, wait until you know where the relationship is going before discussing this chapter of your life. The right man will understand, love you and give you the emotional support you need.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.