There are many websites and videos downloaded on the Internet detailing how to make a tinfoil hat.
Most offer the same directions: Take a 5-foot section of aluminum foil and fold in half. Place foil on head snugly and then smash with hands to conform to your head. Squeeze excess off the top into a ball or spike, which comes in handy when removing your tinfoil hat (not to mention it adds a bit of style).
Once you have made a tinfoil hat, what’s next? My suggestion is to get yourself elected to the Tennessee General Assembly, where you could become a ranking member of the Tinfoil Hat Caucus. Even though its membership and fame has grown in recent years, the THC rarely turns anyone away.
In fact, it has a “big-tent philosophy” when it comes to over-the-top conspiracy theories. And if you have an idea for a bizarre piece of anti-intellectual or anti-establishment legislation, then the THC definitely wants you to join its ranks.
You say you are against Common Core? Well then, you’re just the kind of person the THC is interested in. It’ll be a nice to have a list of problems with Common Core that you can use to help THC in its attempts to derail or stall the next phases of this important education reform plan. These can easily be found on most tea party websites and in emails passed around by like-thinking friends and fellow conspiracy theorists.
Be careful, however, to avoid fact-checking websites, such as Snopes.com, which purportedly debunk such fine information. They are nothing more than liberal shills funded by George Soros.
And don’t let so-called education experts try to distract you with the facts either. Don’t believe them when they point out that Common Core is a set of standards (a road map, of sorts, to improved student outcomes), not a curriculum mandate. No sir, THC members know in their hearts that Common Core is a federal plan to track and indoctrinate our children with big-government ideas.
Of course, THC members know President Obama and the federal government aren’t the only threats to our constitutional freedoms. The United Nations, too, wants to enslave the hearts and minds of God-fearing Americans. That’s the reason members of the THC, including some legislators who represent our very own corner of the state, have taken aim squarely at the United Nations.
Earlier this month, the state House of Representatives approved legislation to bar those rascals from the U.N. from coming to Tennessee and messing with our local elections. The bill was sponsored after someone told someone else that they had read something somewhere about a U.N.-affiliated group conspiring with liberals to accuse Republicans of “human rights violations” in regard to how elections are held here in Tennessee.
THC members have been proactive in passing legislation to make sure that can’t happen. It’s legislation like this that earns a THC member his or her stripes. There’s no telling how far the sponsor of this bill can now go in the GOP leadership.