Contrary to what Bill Nye the Science Guy, and some Vanderbilt nerds have said, teaching creationism actually enhances the science potential and future quality of life of high school students.

Take grant writing, for example. Being able to hold mutually exclusive and contradictory positions is of great value in grant writing.

If you can manage both creationism and scientific method in your mind, it makes writing grants much easier. You can sell the NIH on the good your research will do for all mankind, the Chinese government on how the same research can help control the masses, and corporate funders on profit potential. You just have to juggle and switch your priorities moment to moment.

Creationism is also a great way to learn to ignore data. Why give paleontology, geology, paleobiology or other multi-syllabic heathenisms precedence over “what you know to be true?”

Everyday life is much better with a healthy dose of creationism. Does your husband have lipstick on his collar, condoms in his wallet, and a credit card receipt from “Friendly Massage?” Just ignore it. He’s a good Christian man. And that’s all that really counts.

High school students can also appreciate that creationism is more than “just a theory.”

Clearly, it’s supremely logical and comforting to know that the same deity whose Truth-spreading Plan A was having his son nailed to a cross by Romans has now come up with a Plan B featuring smiling believers crossing this great country and lecturing college-by-college on creationism’s merits. Makes sense to me in every way.

So don’t sell the value of creationism short. Choice is what Tennessee’s all about. Let God show you the way.

Bazinga!

BOB DIETZ

Johnson City