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When the mommy (or daddy) guilt comes for you, how do you handle it?

Paula Miranda • Jul 8, 2014 at 1:50 PM



Mommy and daddy guilt — we've all experienced it. Did you ever ask yourself, "Am I making a big mistake?" or, "Am I forgetting anything important?" How about: "Am I being too hard on my child?" "Will I regret my decisions later?" Yep, we've all been there.

Although they might just be toddlers, they will soon be preschoolers, tweens and eventually the dreaded teenager — yikes! How and what is the recipe for raising the best reflection of all the amazing brilliant characteristics and values you dream your child will one day possess? And to make it more complicated (and more fun!), just how do you deal with the guilt when you treat one child differently than another? I have read numerous books and spoken with professionals and experts about this topic and everything points to the same path: Regardless of what kind of parenting style you choose to approach this great challenge with, parenting starts on day one, and so does the guilt!

You were chosen to be the guide and guardian of your children for many reasons. As parents, we won't teach our children nearly as much as we will learn from them. Parenting is humbling. Parenting means realizing when to move out of the way and let your child live their purpose, not yours. I looked up the definition of parenting and I found that it is a process. A parent promotes and supports physical, emotional, social and intellectual development. We're supposed to nurture them, show them unconditional love and discipline them in the right way without breaking their spirit.

Yes, you will make mistakes as a parent. Yes, you will forget important messages and experiences you learned the "hard way" to relay to your children along the way. Yes, you will more than likely regret something you have done or said to your child as well. And if you're lucky and nearly perfect, you will only have a couple hundred regrets.

My advice? Surrender to the experience of parenting. No two children are alike, so no task of parenting will be either. Make the most out of the experiences and predicaments you find yourself in. Stay open in the most complex situation, because soon after you'll identify the most brilliant and perfect resolution. And if all else fails, and your kids have you hemmed up against the walls like on "Supernanny," just remember to laugh. Rules don't apply to parenting as much as love does, and that's where parents win every time.

No one can ever love more or harder than a parent does.


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