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Eric Myers' Man of the House - Marking Our Territory

Staff Report • Nov 12, 2013 at 9:45 AM

As I consider this week's offering, my sixth installment of "below the radar" things I have noticed and learned by being the at-home caregiver, I am reminded of just how important cleaning a toilet can be. Why? You learn things.

When little boys and little girls first learn to use the bathroom little girls are taught to sit down while little boys are taught to stand up and aim into the bowl. Well, unfortunately, from that time on it's now a situation involving constant clean-up. Everyone having little boys or being around them knows that their aim is not so good all the time and you occasionally have to clean the seat, the outside of the bowl, the floor, and even the walls. Fast forward twenty years for men and guess what? You still have to clean the seat, the outside of the bowl, the floor and occasionally the wall. How do I know? I clean toilets and I wear shorts in the summer.

Walk into any men's restroom anywhere, and I mean anywhere, and you'll find a urine puddle on the floor below the front of the urinal. I don't know if men are closing their eyes, being purposefully inconsiderate, or marking their territory. At any rate, the situation around a bowl is better but still an issue because of the splash-up factor. Observation and physics both prove that if you drop any liquid from a height of 3-4 feet into any other liquid you are going to have some splash. It's unavoidable. All men know this because we wear shorts in the summertime and all men (regardless of their intense focus on the job at hand) can feel, yes feel, some splash hitting their legs and/or feet if wearing sandals. It's the ugly truth.

On the other hand, by sitting down women are far more sanitary. Sitting down lessons the release height to below twelve inches and covers the opening, i.e. the splash factor is eliminated. This creates cleaner bathrooms for sure and cleaner toilet bowl areas therefore making toilet cleanup a much simpler job. Women win this contest with ease.

So, what have I learned through all of this? I've learned to sit down more. Yesiree. And might I say, it's kinda a pleasant break to the day. Not all the time by any means, but on occasion. For example, a lot of middle age guys get up in the middle of the night. Why stumble into the bathroom in the dark half asleep and try to perform this function while keeping your balance on tired legs? Why not take a sit and rest a bit more free of any issues? You say you have to turn on the light? Really? That's even worse. Now you're half asleep and squinting. Good luck.

Another benefit to sitting for a man is it's quieter. Men still have the advantage of being able to aim. So, while sitting, you can aim for that five inch area of the bowl above the water line and the job gets done in stealthy silence. This becomes another advantage in the middle of the night - no lights and no sound and you can keep your eyes closed the whole time! Thanks be to women for this nugget of bathroom wisdom. So, come on, take a sit and be a man!

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